"L is for the way you look at meeeeeee."

I've had a lot of time to think over the course of the last few days, which I don't like too much. Thinking hurts. Well, not literally; but I'd rather not think. I'd rather go with the flow of things, and continue life by not looking at things I could have done differently. Anyways, so I've been thinking. Why do we miss people? It's not like we're by ourselves when we miss those individuals. We're typically surrounded by thousands of strangers, walking down the street, in the airport, or driving next to them on the road. Why don't we make new friends every time instead of getting attached to ones we won't see for a while, if even ever again. It doesn't make sense to me how God would create a world so hectic and stressful. Just a little thought to think about for the next few days...

"Whatever you do in life will be insignificant, but it's very important that you do it. Because nobody else will."

I get to the point sometimes where I feel like whatever I do, or whatever I say, isn't worth any one's time. Some people block it out, in hopes that another, more interesting individual will be more rewarding. Yes, I may be at the point now where I don't want to become fond of her out of personal decision, but it feels like the power doesn't lie in my hands anymore.
Florida. It should be a time to sit back and relax, and not have to worry about anything other than what parks we're going to go to, or what friends we're going to spend time with on whichever day. It's not supposed to be a battle over who can gain the most attention, or who can make the most people laugh. I'm sitting back, waiting for life to give me something to actually be proud of. I've been here a day, and it seems like an eternity. I miss people from back in Wisconsin. Not saying that I don't love coming down here on vacation, to spend a little time with the people down here; I really do. However, this vacation is supposed to be for the two of us, and an intruder seems to be popping into the picture a hell of a lot more now. I wish I would have foreseen this happening. I would have made an excuse saying I couldn't get off work, or had other things to do that needed to be done. I can't see the future. And I can't take back coming; it's too late now.
'Remember Me'. That has to be one of my favorite movies of all time. I've seen it a dozen times already, one of those times being just a little while ago. Watching that film makes me think of how different life is for everyone. I can relate to it, though. Shoot; my parents are divorced and rarely get along. My brother passed away, although not from suicide. And I'm becoming involved with a significant other (who happens to be male, and not female). I just hope in the end it all plays out that something doesn't happen to one of us to make my life miserable all over again. I have enough bad memories to last me a lifetime.
I'm gracious that I have the friends and family behind me to support me, even though a handful of them seem to be nonexistent at the moment.
A friend mentioned to me the other day how I seem to have no friends, and am always seen with my cousins. Honestly, I could give a flying fuck about friends. My cousins are the only friends I need. It's the four of them that help me through all my tough times, and they're the ones that are always there. The friends I had during high school don't seem to be there for me much anymore. It feels like they were just there to say, "Hey, I'm friends with her." It's not like I was even popular, so what the heck? Oh well, it must be a 'high school' thing.
I think I ramble too much. But I don't think I care. My contacts are starting to ware; meaning it's past my bed time.
Tune in later for another post. Peace..